As I scrape the cobwebs away and blow off the dust from this forsaken blog, I'd just like to say that school is crazy and I can't wait to be done with this semester!
But the great thing is that all of my classes are English, so it has been a great semester of writing! Also, one of our assignments was to create on online portfolio!! woo!! I am almost done with it, just needing to revise a couple more short stories. A revised version of "Heels" now resides on there. I am super proud of it, which I rightfully should be from all the hours it took to put up! And I figure I can milk it now since I'm sure I'll forget I even have it in a few months! Well, maybe not. The dream is to keep updating it with more works, but I've got one last semester to complete after this one is over, and all my classes are online. This could be the death of me. Let us hope I survive!
Anyways, here is the link to my *bum buuuuuum!* spankin' new online portfolio!!! Heck yes! やった!!!!!
All Things Bright and Beautiful: An Online Portfolio (of awesomeness)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Attempting to write a short story...hahahaha
Okay, so I completely forgot I had a blog for about...2 months? haha Well, now I've started a new semester and am finally in a writing class! Yay! It feels liberating to write about something..not real, something fictitious! No literary analysis, no research. I make it up, 100 percent. Pretty sweet, eh? Yeah, I think so too. So for lack of other original thoughts I might have during a busy semester at school, I am posting a working draft of a short story we were assigned to write, only requirement was that it had to be less than 500 words and about something small and seeming insignificant in the modern day. I had no idea what to write about, until I wore the wrong pair of shoes, that is. Well, you'll see! :)
Heels
“Thanks for calling me back. I know we just need one more chance and everything will work out again.”
“I don’t know Greg. I promised myself I wouldn’t see you anymore.”
“Don’t worry baby. I’m fixing things right this time. Tonight. Ricardo’s at 7. See you there.”
“Hm, Alright.”
Shannon swept the room frantically for her black heels, throwing pillows and Oreo packages over her shoulder. She remembered these particular heels being Greg’s favorite. They were cute, why didn’t she wear them more often?
Spotting a long, stiletto heel poking out from underneath last month’s issue of Glamour magazine, Shannon quickly hopped to the door as she put on the slender, black heels. Black clouds threatened in the distance, but Shannon paid no attention to the sky or the umbrella hanging from the hook by the door. The click of her heels on the pavement brought a small smile to her face. She quickened the pace to avoid being late.
Not before long, Shannon noticed on the back of one of her heels, a pea-sized area pressed a little too firmly against the back of her shoe. Shortly after, the other foot began to have the same feeling. The pressure was slight at first, but this small annoyance quickly began to sting as the aggravated skin scraped itself away.
‘That’s why I hadn’t worn these shoes in a while.’
Shannon bit her lip with each step. She couldn’t take them off, the restaurant was so close. She paused to examine her feet. Fresh blotches of red mixed with already dark, dried-up scabs and smooth blisters.
“You’re coming still, right?”
“Yes Greg, I’m on my way.”
“Okay, but hurry. There’s a game on tonight and I don’t want this to take too long.”
Rain began to pour. Shannon walked briskly, feeling new sores rupture and old re-open. The pain intensified. So close, but Shannon just couldn’t take it anymore. She slipped her shoes off and ran into the restaurant.
“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for over ten minutes. You’re soaked. Go fix yourself in the bathroom. Dang it Shannon, put your shoes back on. We’re in a restaurant.”
Shannon walked unsteadily towards the bathroom, inspecting her reflection in the restaurant window. Her hair was plastered to her face, her make-up running. And her feet hurt. She paused, bending over slowly to replace the black heels. She glimpsed Greg’s reflection behind her, studying his fingers slither smoothly across his phone as he texted.
Stepping again, one touch of the shoe to the back of her heels sent the familiar ache. Rain continued to pour outside. She just needed to wash the blood off. Greg didn’t notice Shannon step outside as she removed her shoes once more. She lightly wiggled her toes on the cool cement. It felt so good.
“Why are you walking outside without any shoes lady?”
View of the restaurant shrank behind her. Shannon smiled. “It’s all right. I don’t need them. It’s a beautiful day.”
The end!! hahahaha This was my first attempt at writing a short story, so who knows. I'm turning it in tomorrow to get ripped apart (yay! It's only uphill from here!) and maybe I'll post another rendition. I don't know, we'll see what I feel like that day. ;) And considering that you, Erin, are the only one who reads this anyways, may I humbly ask for any advice you may expertly have? If any serious, big time employers just so happen to come upon this blog late at night in their pj's, actually making it this far in reading my pathetic post, and are looking for awesome editors, Erin is your girl. Grab her while you can! She's a hot ticket item and the best you will ever get. Hire her. Love her. *wink*
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A Lesson Learned
Today I called and talked with an old friend and realized the importance of understanding God's love for all His children. We had a falling away after being great friends for many years due to one reason or another. I felt for some time that I should call her but kept putting it off. I finally called today and felt strongly how much Heavenly Father loves her and her husband, family, and all that she cares about. Our lives may have gone in separate directions for a while, but when I tried, we were immediately talking as easily as the good friends we once were. I realized again my love for her and a desire to maintain our friendship once set aside. She is a great person and I felt like I missed something by not allowing myself to be there for her.
My favorite video of all time is linked below. If only I could become as strong as this man here. He is amazing and a true example of Christlike love.
Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light
Just love the people you come in contact with everyday. You never know what they are dealing with in their lives or how your good example could influence them for better! :) I am terrible at doing this, but I hope to improve through daily diligence to the promptings the Lord sends my way.
My favorite video of all time is linked below. If only I could become as strong as this man here. He is amazing and a true example of Christlike love.
Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light
Just love the people you come in contact with everyday. You never know what they are dealing with in their lives or how your good example could influence them for better! :) I am terrible at doing this, but I hope to improve through daily diligence to the promptings the Lord sends my way.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Ramblings of an Insomniac...Part One of hopefully not many!
As bad as my friend Erin thinks she is at keeping her blog updated, she's certainly got me beat! ;) Seeing as I've been dealing with insomnia for the past month and am up, I might as well post!
I don't know exactly what it is I want to write about, I only know that I have often discovered how I truly feel about things through writing. Writing is discovering. Compare it to when you have a conversation with someone about something and you find your answer through discussing and talking it out--writing has the same amazing powers. I love that I discovered this during college, an unrealized passion that I believe began much sooner. Am I fantastic at it? No. But it keeps me happy. Especially when things don't feel particularly sunny, writing is therapy.
I have felt such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude lately. God seriously has blessed me greater than I deserve. I enjoy life and like where I am at. School isn't always fantastic, but I love being with my amazing roommates, Arisa and Erin. I miss my family so much and I wouldn't want to be surrounded by any greater people. They support and love me, putting up with all my lame jokes, bouts, and stress.
Campus life has also greatly improved. It was so lonely the first semester back from the mission because everyone I knew graduated and not a face felt familiar. 'Lo and behold, three semesters later, I never walk to a class without seeing someone I know and receiving a cheerful smile or greeting. I've been yearning to find some service projects to do and have been blessed to discover such needs for me to fulfill. I've met great people and life-long friends, and my family couldn't be happier right now. Sometimes, highs like this scare me because I wonder what kind of trial will come to throw me back down again...then again, as I sit here and type to the sound of I-Tunes radio, a man sings that "my best days are ahead of me." Timing could not have been more divinely inspired. It doesn't do any good to speculate negatively. This voice within constantly seeks to bring me down. The temptation is always great. Sometimes I lose, but I am determined to be happy. I don't want to fail.
I am certainly inadequate in numerous ways, but the good stories are never about perfect, amazing from the beginning, kind of people. The best ones start with the lowly, deficient protagonist who continuously falls and frequently misses choosing the best and easiest path. The wrong path is often stumbled upon, dirt on cheeks with skinned knees, until the protagonist beats his or her way through thorns, vicious lures, and demons to find the path again. Only now, he or she is callused, muscles defined, and stronger from the struggle. I know I possess as Paul describes, an insurmountable "thorn of the flesh," which often gets me down. It fights to show itself even now, but I know I am not battling it alone. I have my family and friends, as well as heavenly assistance, to help me succeed. As long as the hero remembers that fact, any evil who threatens war is defeated. The struggle comes to an end and victory is at hand. The process is painfully beautiful and inevitable to those who truly want to become something great. High goals require a high price. I just hope my reserve and courage will always carry ample funds.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Let it rain!
I hope each day to have eyes to see beauty in the small and simple things. Everyday is wonderful if I look at it through hopeful eyes.
The College Experience...Round 2
The college experience is supposed to be "the time of your life." And in many ways, it really is. I couldn't be at a better place right now. I have the privilege of associating with those who I know are among the elite of the kindest souls on this earth. But at the risk of sounding ungrateful, the past few months have not been the dream I remember it as when I first started.
Idaho was an adventure and I was in a new place where no one knew me. I could start over and be whomever I wanted. I didn't study as much as I should have but my grades held their own. I was up for almost anything and fun times were never hard to find.
I came back from Japan, however, as a different person. There are a lot of things that changed with which I am happy about! I learned a great deal about things of an eternal nature and I came back with confidence, knowing who I am and what I wanted to do. I looked forward to coming back to college with perhaps a rose-colored view on my time here before. Adjusting back to "civilian" life has not been the easiest for me. I'm awkward, strict on myself and my performance in school, a cleaning nazi, and practically incapable of letting loose and having fun.
Granted, I have had amazing roommates the past couple of semesters to get me out of mission mode, but I still feel sometimes that even after ten months (plenty of time to adjust back into normalcy) that I am missing out on something. I want to be involved, but every opportunity taken keeps me up night after night until 3-4 in the morning and every chance missed leaves me feeling incredibly sad and lonely. Now honestly, it is 3 in the morning so these lonely feelings could be coming from a complete lack of company in the late hours... but not all of them.
I feel as if I am in limbo between one step in life and the next. I thought this feeling would dissipate through time, which it has to some degree, but not as quickly as I would have hoped. In some ways, it is as strong as it ever was ten months ago. I love the person I have become but I also miss the person I was before. I miss how I didn't feel guilty doing something for myself, taking time to enjoy life and not work. I am glad the mission taught me diligence, but I can't seem to break the extremity yet. If I don't figure it out soon, I feel I will go crazy! Perhaps I already have! A thought which I wouldn't argue with in a second.
I guess the meat of the story is that I believe I have the right circumstances for happiness, I just can't seem to make it work for me. I know I'll figure it out eventually, I just don't know how to make it until then! I know God has given me wonderful people in my life--in Idaho, Vegas, Japan, etc.--I feel so lucky to know and be loved by them. I have so many blessings I want to someday attempt to repay back, in any little way I can, by helping God's other children around the world. Just as I don't understand this limbo yet, I don't know how that and many of my dreams will be accomplished. But I also know the Lord is at the helm, and if I trust Him and allow Him steer, I can't possibly hit the ever threatening rocks and perilous waves.
Thank you to everyone who has given of their time and cheered me up in any way! Your kindness does not go unnoticed or unappreciated!
Idaho was an adventure and I was in a new place where no one knew me. I could start over and be whomever I wanted. I didn't study as much as I should have but my grades held their own. I was up for almost anything and fun times were never hard to find.
I came back from Japan, however, as a different person. There are a lot of things that changed with which I am happy about! I learned a great deal about things of an eternal nature and I came back with confidence, knowing who I am and what I wanted to do. I looked forward to coming back to college with perhaps a rose-colored view on my time here before. Adjusting back to "civilian" life has not been the easiest for me. I'm awkward, strict on myself and my performance in school, a cleaning nazi, and practically incapable of letting loose and having fun.
Granted, I have had amazing roommates the past couple of semesters to get me out of mission mode, but I still feel sometimes that even after ten months (plenty of time to adjust back into normalcy) that I am missing out on something. I want to be involved, but every opportunity taken keeps me up night after night until 3-4 in the morning and every chance missed leaves me feeling incredibly sad and lonely. Now honestly, it is 3 in the morning so these lonely feelings could be coming from a complete lack of company in the late hours... but not all of them.
I feel as if I am in limbo between one step in life and the next. I thought this feeling would dissipate through time, which it has to some degree, but not as quickly as I would have hoped. In some ways, it is as strong as it ever was ten months ago. I love the person I have become but I also miss the person I was before. I miss how I didn't feel guilty doing something for myself, taking time to enjoy life and not work. I am glad the mission taught me diligence, but I can't seem to break the extremity yet. If I don't figure it out soon, I feel I will go crazy! Perhaps I already have! A thought which I wouldn't argue with in a second.
I guess the meat of the story is that I believe I have the right circumstances for happiness, I just can't seem to make it work for me. I know I'll figure it out eventually, I just don't know how to make it until then! I know God has given me wonderful people in my life--in Idaho, Vegas, Japan, etc.--I feel so lucky to know and be loved by them. I have so many blessings I want to someday attempt to repay back, in any little way I can, by helping God's other children around the world. Just as I don't understand this limbo yet, I don't know how that and many of my dreams will be accomplished. But I also know the Lord is at the helm, and if I trust Him and allow Him steer, I can't possibly hit the ever threatening rocks and perilous waves.
Thank you to everyone who has given of their time and cheered me up in any way! Your kindness does not go unnoticed or unappreciated!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Beginnings
I have always wanted to do a blog seriously, totally unsure of where this posting passion came from, but as yet have not been very successful. The point of this blog is to once again attempt at accomplishing this goal. Not that I have anything particularly interesting to say to the world, but I do hope to add something to it.
One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately has been the concept of charity. The prophet Moroni defines charity as "the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever..." (Moroni 7:47). I love the wording "endureth forever." When I think of the word "endure," it doesn't quite bring a positive image. Something that endures lasts despite of something negative or harsh beating against it, much like the ship enduring the storm, or the hiker enduring through the changing climates and steep climbs of the mountain. Yet always at the end of enduring, something beautiful emerges. Suddenly the long, hard trip is worth the work and the result is sweeter because of the struggle.
Lately I've been trying to improve my heart and be that charitable person I want to be. I find myself constantly breaking that desire with harsh judgments against those I meet, completely lacking that love which I thought I was gaining. Charity is not just a love that comes easily. It endureth through the harsh storms, whether those rains come from those hard-to-love people or from within your own hard heart. An enduring love lasts through everything that tests it. It is called the love of Christ because Jesus Christ's love for us was tested to the most gruesome level, endured through the most bitter persecutions, yet he still remained true to His mission and love. His love was perfect and unyielding to all that tried to tear it down. It never wavered. Christ showed true charity even to those who spit upon Him, flogged Him, and crucified Him. Never were His thoughts turned inwardly, but always outwardly to those He was enduring all of this for.
I know I can never amount to the perfection of the Savior in this life, but He certainly gave me the gift to know what true love is like. When I am harsh on others or myself, I know how powerful God's love is. It doesn't matter how bad I screw up sometimes, or how cruel the world can seem to be to each other; the Lord loves them and me more than I could ever understand. He suffered so that, someday, all tears will be wiped away and all sorrows forgotten (Isaiah 25:8). He did that for all of us. I want to remember this the next time someone speaks to me grumpily, or seemingly never remembers to put their dishes into the dishwasher, or when I beat myself up about something I wish I could have done better. We are all here on this earth together, all facing different struggles, experiencing sorrows that makes our own hearts break. What makes my sorrow any more important than another's? Christ loves me as much as He does anyone else, and He wants all to be comforted and happy through His grace and love.
Gaining charity, this enduring love of Christ, could possibly take me a lifetime to fully grasp, but I want to move a step closer every day that I can. It is only when I work towards this that I truly feel happy. Living the commandments of God is an enduring happiness and I am so grateful for this blessing in my life.
One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately has been the concept of charity. The prophet Moroni defines charity as "the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever..." (Moroni 7:47). I love the wording "endureth forever." When I think of the word "endure," it doesn't quite bring a positive image. Something that endures lasts despite of something negative or harsh beating against it, much like the ship enduring the storm, or the hiker enduring through the changing climates and steep climbs of the mountain. Yet always at the end of enduring, something beautiful emerges. Suddenly the long, hard trip is worth the work and the result is sweeter because of the struggle.
Lately I've been trying to improve my heart and be that charitable person I want to be. I find myself constantly breaking that desire with harsh judgments against those I meet, completely lacking that love which I thought I was gaining. Charity is not just a love that comes easily. It endureth through the harsh storms, whether those rains come from those hard-to-love people or from within your own hard heart. An enduring love lasts through everything that tests it. It is called the love of Christ because Jesus Christ's love for us was tested to the most gruesome level, endured through the most bitter persecutions, yet he still remained true to His mission and love. His love was perfect and unyielding to all that tried to tear it down. It never wavered. Christ showed true charity even to those who spit upon Him, flogged Him, and crucified Him. Never were His thoughts turned inwardly, but always outwardly to those He was enduring all of this for.
I know I can never amount to the perfection of the Savior in this life, but He certainly gave me the gift to know what true love is like. When I am harsh on others or myself, I know how powerful God's love is. It doesn't matter how bad I screw up sometimes, or how cruel the world can seem to be to each other; the Lord loves them and me more than I could ever understand. He suffered so that, someday, all tears will be wiped away and all sorrows forgotten (Isaiah 25:8). He did that for all of us. I want to remember this the next time someone speaks to me grumpily, or seemingly never remembers to put their dishes into the dishwasher, or when I beat myself up about something I wish I could have done better. We are all here on this earth together, all facing different struggles, experiencing sorrows that makes our own hearts break. What makes my sorrow any more important than another's? Christ loves me as much as He does anyone else, and He wants all to be comforted and happy through His grace and love.
Gaining charity, this enduring love of Christ, could possibly take me a lifetime to fully grasp, but I want to move a step closer every day that I can. It is only when I work towards this that I truly feel happy. Living the commandments of God is an enduring happiness and I am so grateful for this blessing in my life.
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