A Lesson Learned

Today I called and talked with an old friend and realized the importance of understanding God's love for all His children. We had a falling away after being great friends for many years due to one reason or another. I felt for some time that I should call her but kept putting it off. I finally called today and felt strongly how much Heavenly Father loves her and her husband, family, and all that she cares about. Our lives may have gone in separate directions for a while, but when I tried, we were immediately talking as easily as the good friends we once were. I realized again my love for her and a desire to maintain our friendship once set aside. She is a great person and I felt like I missed something by not allowing myself to be there for her.

My favorite video of all time is linked below. If only I could become as strong as this man here. He is amazing and a true example of Christlike love.

Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light

Just love the people you come in contact with everyday. You never know what they are dealing with in their lives or how your good example could influence them for better! :) I am terrible at doing this, but I hope to improve through daily diligence to the promptings the Lord sends my way.

Ramblings of an Insomniac...Part One of hopefully not many!

As bad as my friend Erin thinks she is at keeping her blog updated, she's certainly got me beat! ;)  Seeing as I've been dealing with insomnia for the past month and am up, I might as well post!

I don't know exactly what it is I want to write about, I only know that I have often discovered how I truly feel about things through writing. Writing is discovering. Compare it to when you have a conversation with someone about something and you find your answer through discussing and talking it out--writing has the same amazing powers. I love that I discovered this during college, an unrealized passion that I believe began much sooner. Am I fantastic at it? No. But it keeps me happy. Especially when things don't feel particularly sunny, writing is therapy.

I have felt such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude lately. God seriously has blessed me greater than I deserve. I enjoy life and like where I am at. School isn't always fantastic, but I love being with my amazing roommates, Arisa and Erin. I miss my family so much and I wouldn't want to be surrounded by any greater people. They support and love me, putting up with all my lame jokes, bouts, and stress.

Campus life has also greatly improved. It was so lonely the first semester back from the mission because everyone I knew graduated and not a face felt familiar. 'Lo and behold, three semesters later, I never walk to a class without seeing someone I know and receiving a cheerful smile or greeting. I've been yearning to find some service projects to do and have been blessed to discover such needs for me to fulfill. I've met great people and life-long friends, and my family couldn't be happier right now. Sometimes, highs like this scare me because I wonder what kind of trial will come to throw me back down again...then again, as I sit here and type to the sound of I-Tunes radio, a man sings that "my best days are ahead of me." Timing could not have been more divinely inspired. It doesn't do any good to speculate negatively. This voice within constantly seeks to bring me down. The temptation is always great. Sometimes I lose, but I am determined to be happy. I don't want to fail.

I am certainly inadequate in numerous ways, but the good stories are never about perfect, amazing from the beginning, kind of people. The best ones start with the lowly, deficient protagonist who continuously falls and frequently misses choosing the best and easiest path. The wrong path is often stumbled upon, dirt on cheeks with skinned knees, until the protagonist beats his or her way through thorns, vicious lures, and demons to find the path again. Only now, he or she is callused, muscles defined, and stronger from the struggle. I know I possess as Paul describes, an insurmountable "thorn of the flesh," which often gets me down. It fights to show itself even now, but I know I am not battling it alone. I have my family and friends, as well as heavenly assistance, to help me succeed. As long as the hero remembers that fact, any evil who threatens war is defeated. The struggle comes to an end and victory is at hand. The process is painfully beautiful and inevitable to those who truly want to become something great. High goals require a high price. I just hope my reserve and courage will always carry ample funds.